Things That I, Erik, Am Personally Thankful For

[-begin transmission-]

1. That my ancestors drove the Native Americans from their lands, so that I could live there.

2. That I shall clearly never be important enough for robots from the future to come back and try to kill my mother.

3. That the USA's most recent presidential election swept in a bold, energetic new administration--allowing us to do nothing differently in Afghanistan or Iraq.

 4. The magic of cakes.

5. That humanity, though doomed, at least came far enough to be able to invent the iPhone.

[-carrier lost-]