Warmest greetings to you, good sir or madam. I am Electerik. But you may call me Erik, for I would prefer our relationship to be an informal one.
Yes, relationship. Because that’s what writing (and its slightly-retarded cousin, “blogging”) ultimately is: a relationship between the genius author (that’s me) and the generally just-fortunate-to-be-here reader (you).
But fear not! This is not the sort of animal relationship one might have with one’s gardener or some passing plumber. This is to be chaste and caring, with sex only as a natural expression of our mutual respect. I can assure you, unlike certain other blogs I shan't mention here, the worst thing you will get from me is the occasional unpleasant mental image (see previous sentence).
This is my promise to you: I will use this blog primarily for good, and never merely to solicit money. Here, I will cover topics ranging from my favorite superheroes, all the way down to superheroes I don’t particularly care for. There might also be the occasional picture of a cat with a funny saying under it. And, of course, I will be documenting every meal I consume, along with any particularly meaningful bowel movements (as chosen by me).
So, sit back, relax, and leaving the smartness thinking to me.
Oh, and at some point, you might also want to get yourself checked for gonorrhea. I’m just saying.